Tuesday, March 19, 2013

THE before...

THE before...
dun dun dun
As ominous as this sounds it really is not that dramatic, many people have heard of the "Announcement" http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/president-thomas-s-monson-announced-lower-age-requirement-for-missionary-service on general confrence day. Well we made our family jokes and we went on our way. Well with many questions after that from family, are you going to go? My reply was always no!

You see, I have this thing, I do not like to be the same as many people. Its actually a very big struggle for me, throughout my high school years it got better. For example, if someone had or wore the same shirt as me one day I would not wear that shirt again until I knew that they were either not going to wear it or they didnt have it anymore. I dont know why its such a big deal, but,, its just something I struggle with. So, back to the subject with all these missionaries leaving my age I wasent so keen on the idea of following the crowd.

I mean, I always said to others, if I am not married at 21 I will go on a mission. So, 19 came around, and I was not married. So I mean why not right? But that didnt necessarily mean I was going still. I prayed... ALOT!! and nothing happened. I wanted to go, i just didnt know that I should.

So.. one night I came home from work, it had been a very long day!!! I wasent happy, I was not doing well in school, and I just was not motivated to do anything. I was sick and tired of praying for something I was not getting the answer to and I was just done, I thought the lord was making it clear that a mission was not my forte. I walked in my Home, (Brandon and Shantels) and shantel was sitting there. Now let me tell ya a little about Shantel. (this is so important she deserves a new paragraph.) :)

Shantel is a blessing in disguise. I WANT TO BE LIKE HER WHEN.... AND IF I GROW UP. She is so patient, beautiful, and she understands. She is my psychiatrist and I can seriously tell her anything! She never raises her voice ever and she is a mom that I pray that I can be someday.

I walk in awaiting her smile, she knew the idea of a mission was weighing on me and knew that there was alot of frustration inside me. So, without fail her almost daily question came up. "Are you going to go on a mission, Sarah?" I sat down with  my daily answer as "I dont know". She then said one thing that I will never ever forget. She told me to pray as if you are going on a mission and that you feel that it is the right answer for me and then you give it sometime to see how you feel. I then decided I needed to finish the Book Of Mormon before I decided anything for real. I gave myself to the end of february and I was just about halfway through Alma, It was definatley do able. And so that began.

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